I've always envied men for their ability to wake up in the morning and put on the same uniform of jeans and a shirt, and walk out the door having barely touched their hair or face. At the same time I enjoy the womanly pursuits of drying your hair into a flattering curve, transforming your lips into flashes of bright red and accentuating your eyes with a flick of a brush. I like to look feminine but without having tried too hard. I like to look like Lucy but at her best.
So I was somewhat taken aback by my husband 'shielding' my daughter (just a baby) from these daily rituals because of his concerns that she would feel the need to copy and wear make-up.
In many ways, his protection was a feminist stance. We don't need any enhancements to win his affections. In his eyes, wearing make-up is a sign of giving into the pressures on women to change the way they look, to conform to commercial ideas of beauty. Make-up displays a lack of confidence in who you are.
But to me, make-up is a continuation of getting dressed. Clothes are a necessity, and also a statement about who you are and how you are spending your day - flamboyancy may signal freedom and artistic expression, a plain suit the need to fit into an office, jeans means you can run about in the park with your 7 yr old, red lipstick a sign that you have a sense of purpose. Even people who claim not to care about clothes or fashion are making a statement about not caring in their choice of attire. Making yourself look attractive can be done to make yourself feel good about yourself, for yourself, it doesn't always need to indicate a need to be loved.
Its how you approach the material that matters. We are have to get dressed every day just as we have to eat every day. Choosing to eat and dress well can simply be a way to enjoy life. Taking it to extreme so that it becomes all consuming, or hiding behind a mask, is problematic. I think young girls need to learn the way in which you approach clothes and make-up is what matters, not that they are good or bad. They should be fun, a way of expressing yourself, not a sign of pressure to change.
I remember watching my mother get ready to go out. I loved sitting on her bed while she transformed herself from mother to glamorous woman. I wasn't watching her to get tips for myself, but to see her as an independent woman that had her own exciting life outside the home. The ritual would end with her leaving a red kiss mark on my cheek and a waft of perfume in the air as I went to sleep.
Watching a mother put on make-up in a way that shows she is in control, making her own choices and respecting herself can surely only be a good influence?
