howling at the hackney moon

I had my first experience of wassailing, not if you know what this ancient tradition is, in the West Country, but in the heart of Hackney. It was a magical moment.

A few years ago I helped a group of volunteers reclaim a disused corner and turn it into an urban orchard and allotment space. This place has a lot of significance for me - the many saturdays turning turf and mulching, with a slowly evolving landscape of friendly faces, and then last summer pacing around mid labour as instructed by the midwives.

So last weekend Gustavo and I were invited to be the wassailing king and queen in honour of us leaving for Mexico. This involved  drinking cider and apple brandy, banging pots and pans by candle and moonlight to 'banish the spirits and ensure a good harvest', and singing. I loved that this very old ceremony was being evoked in the midst of a very 21st century urban setting. The sun had set and the cool december air, with the perfect sliver of moon, opened a timeless space.

After all the racket, we were standing around drinking and eating and laughing at the silliness, when suddenly Maya picked up a pot and pan and ran away from our huddle into the dark towards the trees banging with all her might and howling at the moon.


I known it is popular for the chattering classes to bemoan the lack of 'community' in the 21st century, particulary in cities. Your community is there for the making. I've had so many moments like this in London, from creating the orchard, to a party in our estate, going to our neighbours christening, gossiping about other neighbours after a shareholders meeting. Yes its a veritable urban Archers over here in Hackney.

As we cycled home all i could hear was a little voice shouting 'moooooon' behind me. 

Grayson Perry and Russell Brand

I totally adore Grayson Perry and now love him even more for his recent Reith Lectures on Art. They are engaging, funny and thought provoking. His main point I agree with, that art should have a certain seriousness - a reflection, interpretation of the world that makes you see things differently.

Seriousness has been out of fashion for a long time but has been creaping back in with the hipsters who get geeky about home brew, baking or crafts. Can we be serious and be funny, without being earnest or flippant? I remember at university realising pretty quickly that cycnicism is the short cut to sounding clever - implying that you're not naive, you've experience the world, you're knowledgeable. Cynicism is healthy but never allowing yourself to get committed to an idea, or serious in its pursuit is the same vein as apathy.

I've been amused to watch the debate around Russell Brand's rant on democracy. It takes me back to working in a left wing think tank nearly a decade ago where i worked in the 'democracy team'. I can just imagine them all now clammering to get him booked to speak at their next seminars and conferences. My job was to help research ways in which to improve voter turnout and a lack of engagement in politics. It was a lot of fun. I only realised what a great job it was when i left -i had been surrounded by lots of young, cool, super clever and engaged people - and was paid to research and think about ways to make the world a better place! Awesome.

Yet I came from a generation that was least engaged in politics. I didnt even think about it at university, until we had one impassioned lecture from our philosophy lecturer. He went off message, scrapped his planned talk about wittgenstein and instead explained why he was angry, how little he was paid, how he felt he wasnt giving us the education we deserved and that we were now paying for (the first year to have to pay for it) but mostly he was angry on our behalf.

'Why arent you protesting? Why are you not demanding a better deal?' He couldnt understand our apathy. He had become politicised at at uni during thacherism. It was part of his youth culture and now his identity.

After that lecture, we wandered off to get a coffee and talked it over. I remember us all nodding our head, 'yeah he's cool, he's so right, we should do something'. What did we do? Started planning our night out, headed out, got wasted, listeded to good tunes, forgot all about it. We were anaethetised by a stable economy and cheap drugs.

Going to work at a thinktank was part of my effort to re-engage with the world, to try to do something that would 'make a difference', contribute in some way, having spent too many years after graduation drifting around the music scene trying to figure our my place.

Low voter turnout was a big concern in think tank world. So to hear Russell Brand say that we should all not vote, and encourage a 'revolution' instead, brought back all those months spent agonising over how to get younger generations to vote.  The problem is, no matter how disappointed you are with the three main parties, the alternative seems worse - what would a revolution usher in? And do people in the UK in 2013 really want a revolution? Not really. They just don't want to be screwed over by self serving politicians. There is no doubt we are lucky to have our democracy. So making it better is where our focus should be. And actually perhaps the first thing we should do is encourage people that we like and respect to become politicians rather than put them off by dismissing them all. Spoil the ballot paper or engage in civil disobedience. These are actions that will bring about change. But thats' definitely a nuanced not so cool message as waving a flag saying revolution.Which is why i think that while Russell Brand might genuinely be pissed off at politicians, rightly so, he doesn't really want to engage in solutions. It feels more like a Che Guevara pose in front of a photographer - a good look for 2013 and to impress his new political girlfriend.

Some very interesting research has shown the impact that non violent civil resistance can have. A government cannot sustain its rule if more than 3.5% of the population mobilised against it. We are massively lucky to be living in a country that while may be governed by some very unlikable identikit men in suits, is not a ruthless dictator or violent regime. We have a system of government that works when its citizens engage in the process and demand better. This is a privilege and to turn away from that especially when affluent feels a little spoilt .  

Inspiring women in art and architecture

Only a few days left to see this incredible exhibition. I love how these timeless women look like someone you'd like to hang out with. Refreshing to see paintings of strong, inspiring women in an appealing painterly style.


Meanwhile I went to visit the new Serpentine gallery on saturday with the unmistakable Zaha Hadid extension. I loved the smell and sound of the loose brickfloor with freshly finished interior. In the cafe the brand new tea pots were melting and sticking to the brand new table tops as the sun poured through the new glass surrounds. It looks beautiful and is amazing that this is her first permanent building in London. While in the queue I hear two people talking about how 'people here just dont apreciate her'. Is it because her designs arent fallic glass and steel structures that compete to be the tallest?

Garden delights

I have been silent here for a few months while focusing on getting back to work after a year's maternity leave and figuring out how life goes on with a little person around.

Well I've done something bold in an attempt to reconnect with who I am (a challenge having spent a year focused almost entirely on little dependent baby) and to make sure I've got life's priorities sorted. What have I done? Gone on a retreat? Cut and died my hair? Taken up boxing? Nope....I've handed in my notice at work, with no other job lined up, and booked a flight to Mexico with the return date some several months after. January 2014 this blog will be relocated to Mexico as my husband, daughter and I embark on an adventure.

This lovely cartoon summarises my feelings about work at the moment. How do you pay the bills while maintaining your integrity? How do you earn enough to live while following your dreams? And what's enough to live off anyway? I think these are some of the most important questions. For some it will be doing a job that pays the bills and then exploring your dreams outside that. For a very lucky few they can combine both. I'm going to feature some inspiring examples over the coming weeks.

Until then I am writing from a very domestic London scene - looking out over the garden while the neighbor mows his lawn and the ice-cream van chimes in the distance. I never thought I would be someone to get so much pleasure out of watching a garden blossom. Admittedly this has mostly taken place from the hammock while Gustavo sweats it out.

My life in boxes

As I unpack my boxes in my new home, I have been rediscovering records bought in soho shops that no longer exist. The contents of these boxes are shadows of a former analogue life, leaving an imprint like the shadows left on the wall when I removed my paintings. I like turning over the books and records, the memories marked over them - the ring from a coffee cup (i confess when at uni the books mostly served as coffee mats rather than actual reading material), or the sticky residue on a record from djing under a damp tunnel. But I wipe them clean and place them on the new shelves ready for some new memories to accumulate.

What will digital memories look like? A scuffed phone? A scratched laptop?

I'm trying not to feel nostalgic for my beloved flat with the Rear Window view of a beautiful 1930s block full of hard working architects. Over the many years, I would never tire of watching, imagining what their stories and dreams were. The lone guy working until 2am night after night. Did he have a love at home waiting for him or was work his whole life? Was he working late so he could write his future booker prize winning novel in peace? When two would work late together I'd imagine their slow build up to falling in love. And when a pizza delivery came at 7pm I knew that meant they had a deadline for the next day. I wonder if they ever wondered back, and watched the mini tv sets opposite them. Did they see my stomach gradually swell in profile and then the blurry feeds in the middle of the night? As I packed up my last box I paused and thought about walking over and blurting out a goodbye, but realised they would just look at me like i was a mad woman. After all, best not to burst the bubble, best to keep it as it was, a dreaming urban landscape.

So onto my new home and new neighbourhood...goodbye Hoxton, goodbye Bethnal green. Goodbye loopy and lovely neighbours.

Is make-up repressive?

I've always envied men for their ability to wake up in the morning and put on the same uniform of jeans and a shirt, and walk out the door having barely touched their hair or face. At the same time I enjoy the womanly pursuits of drying your hair into a flattering curve, transforming your lips into flashes of bright red and accentuating your eyes with a flick of a brush. I like to look feminine but without having tried too hard. I like to look like Lucy but at her best.

So I was somewhat taken aback by my husband 'shielding' my daughter (just a baby) from these daily rituals because of his concerns that she would feel the need to copy and wear make-up.

In many ways, his protection was a feminist stance. We don't need any enhancements to win his affections. In his eyes, wearing make-up is a sign of giving into the pressures on women to change the way they look, to conform to commercial ideas of beauty. Make-up displays a lack of confidence in who you are.

But to me, make-up is a continuation of getting dressed. Clothes are a necessity, and also a statement about who you are and how you are spending your day - flamboyancy may signal freedom and artistic expression, a plain suit the need to fit into an office, jeans means you can run about in the park with your 7 yr old, red lipstick a sign that you have a sense of purpose. Even people who claim not to care about clothes or fashion are making a statement about not caring in their choice of attire. Making yourself look attractive can be done to make yourself feel good about yourself, for yourself, it doesn't always need to indicate a need to be loved.

Its how you approach the material that matters. We are have to get dressed every day just as we have to eat every day. Choosing to eat and dress well can simply be a way to enjoy life. Taking it to extreme so that it becomes all consuming, or hiding behind a mask, is problematic. I think young girls need to learn the way in which you approach clothes and make-up is what matters, not that they are good or bad. They should be fun, a way of expressing yourself, not a sign of pressure to change.

I remember watching my mother get ready to go out. I loved sitting on her bed while she transformed herself from mother to glamorous woman. I wasn't watching her to get tips for myself, but to see her as an independent woman that had her own exciting life outside the home. The ritual would end with her leaving a red kiss mark on my cheek and a waft of perfume in the air as I went to sleep.

Watching a mother put on make-up in a way that shows she is in control, making her own choices and respecting herself can surely only be a good influence?